On Rain

 It wasn't Prince's Purple Rain. It wasn't Forest Gump's "little bitty stingin' rain." It wasn't even the kind of rain that the Temptations were wishing for. This was Andy Dufresne's rain when he gets out of Shawshank. It was Jim and Pam's rain from the Office. This was Van Morrison's rain from And it Stoned me. 

Van Morrison, And it Stoned me

Ever since I was a kid, rain almost brought along a feeling of an otherworldly cleansing when the clouds opened and rain drops started falling. That smell of summer after a rain shower, where the sunshine is brighter and the earth smells alive is one of the most distinctive smells that I can remember, and it takes me back to my childhood every time I experience it. Last week I was having one of those "blah" days. It was supremely unmemorable in every aspect, until I got caught in a rain shower that took me back to being 12 years old again, waiting for the rain to stop so my friends and I could go back to enjoying a glorious summer day. At that moment, I had a moment of supreme clarity that just shook me, and Van Morrison popped into my head. 

That rain washed away all of the things that lead into a forgettable, subpar kind of day. I was irritated and didn't know why, I had a hard time really enjoying any aspect of what was turning into a pretty mundane Wednesday. Until the rain started falling down. For whatever reason, that rain acted as a kind of reset button for me. The rain stopped, the sun came out, and I noticed how vibrant the leaves are this year. That earthy smell rose up from the woods, and I remembered the cool recipe I wanted to try for dinner that evening. A small little rainbow popped up, and I was thankful of the fact that I am healthy, have a job, and am more blessed than most, so maybe I should appreciate my life a little more often. 

Like I said, it was a Van Morrison kind of rain. Sometimes a little rain is exactly the thing to put things back into perspective. 

Maybe you'll get caught in that kind of rain soon.

Yours, RA 

7 irons and walks in the woods

 I just spent two hours and forty five minutes without uttering anything other than "Why in the world did you go that way," and I could not have had a better time doing it. 

I am one of the dewsweepers at my local country club, one of the guys who starts playing golf early in the morning and is done by the time most golfers are just getting ready to start their day. I had the 8:30 tee time this morning, first of the day, and I can honestly say that early morning walks through the woods with occasional moments of joy are good for my soul. I got to see the sun crest over Table Rock in Morganton this morning, got to lip out a birdie putt on the magnificent 15th hole at Mimosa Hills Golf Club, and enjoyed some delectable breaded flounder for lunch, all before 11:30 this morning.  There is something special about enjoying nature in almost complete silence, with all of the distractions of day to day life stripped away. My phone was on silent, my ear buds were off, and all I could hear was the wheels of my pushcart rolling through dewy grass; of course, occasional cracks of a clubhead hitting a ball followed by frustrated grunting broke the otherwise pristine silence. Yes, these early mornings spent in solitude at the golf course help keep my sanity intact. 

There is something soothing about playing golf in the early morning. With every stroke, you can see lines in the grass where the ball landed and rolled, get to hear the birds waking up and chirping as the sun peaks over the horizon, and every step is another step in the lifelong journey that comes with playing golf. No golfer has ever had the perfect round. Even Tiger Woods at the height of his powers would speak to the reporters after his final round 63 about the strokes he left out on the course. This morning was a perfect embodiment of golf for me. I have not been playing particularly well, I've been fighting a bit of a slice with my driver. But on the 18th hole this morning, I managed to string together 3 shots that keep even the worst of the duffers coming back for more every chance they have. I striped my driver right down the middle, and was left with a nice easy 7 iron into the hole, which leads back to the back porch of the clubhouse. This shot didn't mean much, I had played too poorly to break any personal milestones, so this was simply the last iron shot of the day for me. I struck it absolutely pure, and the club was ringing in my ears as I watched the ball take its gentle parabola from 165 yards out, and stopped 10 feet from the flagstick. 

Until this point, I had played 17 holes without saying a word. No "Come on!" or "Bite!" had crossed my lips. I stepped over my ball, and looked at the birdie putt that would make an excellent exclamation mark to my round. I though it was a bit of a left breaker, and I took my putter back with the utmost confidence that it would drop into the hole. As the ball rolled, I waited with baited breath, until at the last moment it careened to the right, which was the opposite direction I anticipated. Then, I finally spoke my first words of the morning, "Why in the world did you go that way?" 

I tapped in my par putt to conclude my round. 

This has been a crazy year for everyone. Life has been as far from normal as it can get, and yet we are all trying to get through each day with the same vigor and enthusiasm as we always have. You might not play golf. You may have never even been to play putt putt. But I assure you that setting time for yourself, with no distractions or complications, is good for the soul. You might not find the joy that I do in hitting a perfect 7 iron. But all of us need some respite from the hard times that 2020 has brought each and every one of us. Whether it is in a leather bound book, a manicured fairway, or in an artist's easel, we all need relief. I hope you find some, the same way that I found mine this morning. It does wonders for the soul. 

On Forever

In 365 days, I will be getting married. In the long list of things I have wanted to write, that sentence has got to be at the top of the list. I have spent the last 5 years doing a great job of messing things up in my life, but this is one thing that I have done right.

Tayler and I met how most of us millennial's meet our significant others, on a dating app. On our first date, she talked me into seeing a scary movie, which is not something I do on a regular basis. It turns out that A Quiet Place is actually a pretty good movie, and when I see it pop up on Hulu or Amazon Prime it always makes me smile, because it takes me back to that first date with the woman I am going to marry. Tayler and I have been on some amazing adventures together, from Caribbean cruises in the Bahamas to road trips to Kansas City, and every day is another day to spend with the person I can so clearly see my future with. We have been through ups and downs, same as with any other relationship, and over time I have seen us grow in ways that I thought was impossible for people in their late twenties. We have adopted a German Shepard puppy named Lucy, who has added to our household in a beautiful and crazy way. Even our grouchy GSD Oakley has decided that adopting Lucy was a great decision, even though it means less belly scratches for him during the day. Tayler has managed to make my family fall completely in love with her because of the things that I saw as soon as we met, which is her determination to achieve goals, compassion for others, and the way she brightens a room just by walking into it. In short, she has enriched my life in every way since the day we met, and I think standing here one year away from the big day, it was time to put down on paper what I have known in my heart for two years now.

I am beyond excited for Tayler and I to tie the knot and start our married life together. This next year is going to be crazy and will probably fly by, and I thought it was fitting to write this post now, sitting one year away from our wedding date. Here is to Tayler, the most incredible person I have ever met, and a person who has turned my life into everything I hoped it would become. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.