Looking out across my desk at the bunch of teenagers sitting
quietly, I could almost see their thoughts in bubbles, like in comic strips.
“Oh geez, one more day of this grammar review…”
“What is for lunch, I am starving; only 4 hours to go.”
“Sweet! A sub, we won’t be getting anything done today.”
Yup, if you had told me when I was a Senior in high school
that I would be on the other side of that desk just two months after getting
done with college, I would have literally laughed out loud. 18 year old me knew
beyond a shadow of a doubt that teaching was not for me. I would never, ever,
EVER teach. Going beyond me not being the most spectacular student, I was
positive that I did not have the patience or the determination to get through
to students. Ryan Alexander was not meant to teach.
It is funny how much things can change. College has a way of
making people grow up, in the classroom and as a person. Not everyone can be
away from home for the first time and still uphold all of their
responsibilities with no parents or guardians there to keep an eye on things.
There is a reason that the fail rate of college freshman has been right around
33% for decades. Some kids, statistically about one out of three, cannot handle
going to school on their own away from home. By all measures, I should have
been one of those statistics. I wasn’t a good student in high school, I didn’t
try hard enough to really do anything noteworthy during those long four years.
Based on that alone, I was a contender to be out of college by Thanksgiving of
my freshman year, unable to cut it.
But to the shock of literally everyone who knew me in high
school, I made it through my first year at Western Carolina. And then I made it
through the second. All of a sudden, barring a complete collapse, I was going
to make it through college. Those four years in Cullowhee flew by, but come
August 5th 2013, I got my diploma from Western. The job market isn’t
so hot at the moment, and getting into writing is more difficult than I ever
imagined. After some thought, I figured trying some substitute teaching wouldn’t
hurt. If I liked it, I could keep going with it, and if not I could chalk it up
as a lesson learned.
So on September 27th my career as a teacher
started. All decked on in my shirt and tie, with nothing but nerves and contingency
plans for unruly high school kids rattling around in my head, I stepped off
into the great unknown. That first day seemed to take forever. I was nervous
and timid, not sure what to say to kids that were only a few years younger than
me. Having authority over kids who looked barely younger than me was a
challenge. In fairy tale world, that first day went off without a hitch. In
reality, I am sure that I could have improved on my classroom management, and
keeping the students busy and on task with their homework.
I have done more sub teaching over the last couple of weeks,
and I find myself liking it more and more every time I do it. The teachers that
I work with are incredibly helpful, and for the most part the students have
been fine. I find myself being proactive and asking students questions about
what they are working on, so that I can lend them a hand if they need it. I
have learned that I know a lot more than I realized, and actually have some
knowledge that the students can use. This past week, I helped a student with
complex sentences and the use of dependent and independent clauses, stuff that
I haven’t thought about in at least six or seven years. It is still a shock to hear “Mr. Alexander”
whenever kids ask me something, and I made the mistake of telling a student my
first name in a conversation when I didn’t mean to say it.
I can see myself sticking to teaching, and helping kids like
me be better students and avoid the mistakes that I made in high school. I don’t
want these kids to surprise people when they make it through college. If I can
help prepare them even a little bit, I will be happy.
So you can call me Mr. Alexander from now on. I think I am
finally used to hearing it.
